


And All the Fools Who Lead Their Foolish Lives May Find it Quite Explosive

by tanktrilby



Series: I'm so into you, but I'm way too smart for you [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: M/M, karma is a pain in everyone's ass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4883095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanktrilby/pseuds/tanktrilby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ah, but no need to worry. It’s not a scandal or anything. If you do a Google search all you’ll get for his name will be a bunch of research articles and a poem by a four year old boy about how amazing Gakushuu-onii-chan is. The poem’s real. I checked.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	And All the Fools Who Lead Their Foolish Lives May Find it Quite Explosive

Koro-sensei pushes an armful of creepy octopus merch on to Karma. “Your popularity has gone up by nine per cent after you ended that routine with your now-infamous _kapow_ pose, Karma-kun,” he says, beaming. “Please keep up the good work.”

“Sure thing, sensei,” Karma beams back, and pushes the mountain of merch back across the desk. “Don’t give me those things, they’re ugly.”

He stands up and dusts off while sensei has a heart attack. “Was that all? Kataoka said it was important.”

Sensei is still blinking at a discarded octopus pin sadly. “My cute mascot…”

“Hey, I’m not saying it’s all bad. I kinda like takoyaki,” Karma says breezily, and sensei splutters his indignation. “Maybe I’ll bring some over. See ya sensei.”

“Wait, Karma-kun!” Now recovered, Sensei steeples his fingers together and looks at him, serious face on. “Is it true that you’ve encountered your soulmate?”

Karma freezes up for a split second, because _dammit,_ he’s not used to talking about it yet. And it doesn’t seem quite real- _Gakushuu_ isn’t quite real, the way he’s too sharp, too smart, and understands all the important things and uses them for all the wrong reasons. When they were in high school, Nagisa said that the person who could stand being bound by fate to Karma would either be blind with love or an actual evil mastermind. It was obvious which type Nagisa had been fervently hoping it would be; once they’d met Gakushuu, Nagisa had silently walked into his room and hadn’t come out for three days.

“Hm? And where’d you hear that, stalker sensei?” Karma says and watches his manager’s face go so red steam comes out of his ears, making Sensei cover his face with his hands and make little distressed noises. Karma sings, “Ah, but no need to worry. It’s not a scandal or anything. If you do a Google search all you’ll get for his name will be a bunch of research articles and a poem by a four year old boy about how amazing _Gakushuu-onii-chan_ is. The poem’s real. I checked.”

He waits for sensei to snap out of his funk. Presently he does, saying, “But that’s not what Sensei was worried about, Karma-kun. I’m told that he has an… interesting… personality.”

“He made everyone sign a contract to never buy parfaits from anywhere except the café where he works,” Karma says, laughing. “He was going to sue the reporters for some made-up reason but I think he got bored. The café owners are set for life.”

Less exciting is the way on their second meeting, Gakushuu had eyed him (Karma admits he had been hassling the other waiters quite a bit, but only because he’d wanted to see Gakushuu) and made a quick comment about his abandonment issues that was both terrifyingly accurate and funny. Karma now understands what other people were talking about when they called him a handful.

“He expects me to keep up with him on his own terms,” Karma says, slow, thoughtful. “Isn’t that the level of selfishness and arrogance you’d expect from someone who can last being my soulmate? And the minimum requirement for a soulmate in general, I think.”

He looks at sensei. Sensei looks back at him.

Then, Sensei starts crying.

“What the-”

“Karma-kun is leaving the nest!” Sensei blubbers between sobs, reaching for his box of tissues and pulling out about twenty. “My cute protégé is all grown up! He’s found another delinquent to spend the rest of his life with and now he has no need for sensei!”

Karma grins. He’s got a running joke within the café, for whenever Gakushuu pulls out his mind control bullshit: lurking behind him and whispering, _I am simply one hell of a waiter._ Gakushuu looks ready to stab each and every person on the planet whenever it happens and it’s really great. “He’s not a delinquent,” he tells sensei. “He’s simply one hell of a waiter.”

Sensei stops wiping his nose long enough to say, “He’s an Asano, Karma-kun. Do not let whatever that happens between you two make you forget that.”

Karma gives him a long look. Everybody in the business -and a fair few people besides- knew about the bitter rivalry between the Asano conglomerate and 3E, Sensei’s own small but incredibly successful company. He’s heard rumors that the older Asano keeps pictures of Sensei pinned to a series of dartboards and makes his employees practice on them every morning; Sensei retaliates by being a total fucking scaredy-cat and cowering in his seat whenever Asano Gakuho’s name comes up in conversation.

Finally he says, “Spare me your sob stories of your breakup with Asano Senior, Koro-sensei.” While sensei splutters, Karma tinkles his fingers in a wave. “See ya.”

*

“I can’t believe you designed a video game with yourself as the last boss,” Karma says, looping his arms around his crossed legs and smirking up at Gakushuu. “Talk about self-centered.”

The expression on Gakushuu’s face suggests that this isn’t the first time this has been pointed out to him: he looks almost desperately annoyed, but bored too. All the same, his entire body is angled towards Karma’s, and he shows no signs of tuning him out. Karma’s smirk grows. Gakushuu was _letting_ himself be infuriated. There was hope for Karma yet.

“It’s not me,” Gakushuu monotones. “It’s the Director.”

Karma makes a show of peering at the gigantic screen. “I dunno, looks a lot like you to me. And look at those stats,” he thumbs down the list, stifling a snicker at the incredible aptitude rates, as well as the myriad immunities. Add to that the flashbacks and backstory, and the character becomes complex as he is overpowered. It’s like Gakushuu sat down and somehow created the most compelling villain ever. Karma isn’t looking forward to the grinding it’ll take to even put a scratch on him, but he likes the challenge of it, and besides, it wouldn’t be the first video game that got popular because of an attractive final boss.

“It’s not me,” Gakushuu repeats, mulish.

Something in his tone makes Karma put his controller on his lap and turn fully towards him. Gakushuu’s hands are crossed, and he’s not quite looking at Karma- his eyes are as direct as usual but there’s an _absence_ in them, like Gakushuu’s mind is already far away.

It’d work on most people. It nearly works on Karma, because it’s a little difficult to wrap his mind around the possibility of Gakushuu running away from anything, instead of beating it to death with his brain.

So Karma does the logical thing, and reaches out and karate chops his soulmate’s knees.

Gakushuu comes down with a yelp and a kick, which lands squarely on Karma’s stomach. It fucking _hurts;_ Karma belatedly remembers something about a judo championship in the sparse number of articles that Gakushuu has allowed to exist about him. Frustrated and winded, he uses the moment of imbalance to catch Gakushuu in a headlock and pants into his neck.

“…Karma, what the fuck,” Gakushuu intones. He goes perfectly still, likely fishing for an opening. Karma, who doesn’t fancy being on the receiving end of that kick again, doesn’t give him one. “Let me-”

“Of course it’s not you,” Karma whispers into Gakushuu’s ear, and the stillness about him goes _sharp_. He can feel Gakushuu’s shiver. “You’re nothing like him. You work at a _café._ You like being around people, and you get lonely easily. Bankrupt college students horrify you so you up the serving sizes and give them freebies. You think people are either weak or strong but that doesn’t stop you from treating them the same.” His grip on Gakushuu relaxes when he sees how wide his eyes are. Karma adjusts his arms so that he’s hugging Gakushuu from behind instead, and grins into the curve of his neck, right above their shared Mark, and catches a faint scent of strawberry. He'd laugh - _as expected of a strawberry blond!-_ if it didn't make him shiver and dig his hungry fingers deeper into Gakushuu's skin. 

“If you were a video game character, Gakushuu, you’d be the pretty love interest.”

Gakushuu’s head turns, violet eyes wide and intent on Karma’s. Karma keeps smiling at him. Standing, they’re about the same height, but the positioning means Gakushuu’s hunched over a little, his nose an inch below and apart from Karma’s. His Mark burns in lazy counterpoint to the crackle of electricity across his skin.

“That’s uncharacteristically nice of you,” Gakushuu says bluntly, dealing the hazy, electric mood a one-hit kill death blow. Karma rolls his eyes. “Your style of flirting usually runs towards the challenging and annoying side.”

“Ah, then you acknowledge we were flirting, Gakushuu?”

Gakushuu shifts, settling more comfortably in the circle of Karma’s arms. He doesn’t seem to notice Karma gaping at him, because he begins to flick through the options of the game with Karma’s abandoned controller with a studious set to his mouth, seeming oblivious to the fact that they were _cuddling._ What the fuck.

“Of course. You seem to be set on the idea that us being soulmates has to mean something, and you’re leading us towards being in a relationship. I don’t understand your reasoning, Karma, but I don’t mind.”

Karma wonders if this is part of some grander scheme to get his hopes up- Gakushuu is as tricky as he is gorgeous, and there’s no way he can’t sense how frantically Karma’s heart is beating.

But then Gakushuu flicks him one final glance, a flash of violet before he’s looking at the screen again. “Maybe I’ll design a love interest with higher stats than all the other characters combined, next time. Thank you, Karma.”

Karma squeezes his sides, delighted. “Give him daddy issues too, so that- ow, _fuck._ ” He starts coughing, and Gakushuu takes his elbow away from his ribs and reaches for the other controller.

“If you’re still dreaming of beating me at this, you better get in all the practice you can get,” Gakushuu says, merciless and brilliant and _perfect;_  Karma’s still laughing and wheezing as they begin playing.   

**Author's Note:**

> this has been sitting around in my hard drive forever. This fic marks the point where I seriously started shipping karma x gakushuu and it's taken over my life since. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
